Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Back in Black Ice

Touche, AC/DC.

You've figured out your market.


I hate you.


Monday, October 27, 2008

Back to Life... Back to Virtual Reality

*Background- For those of you who do not know me, my name is Gav. I work at a tech company, and therefore interact with a multitude of software, electrical, and mechanical engineers. Needless to say, many technical conversations about HTML, VisualBasic, C++, and (my personal favorite) stochastic algorithms are waayyy over my head.

For lack of a more effective delivery, the ALL CAPS is me yelling internally.

Nearly every day I stream the Adam Corolla Show at work (which dn suggested the podcasts last month and I endorse.) Yesterday morning during the news, or more recently referred to as "News Time!", Teresa shared a report out of Japan of an avatar divorce resulting in the 43-year-old divorcee murdering her avatar husband in a virtual world, and arrested for the crime ~ In Real Life. Fortunately, the Dallas News Crime Blog details the event. Personally, I just don't understand the fascination with the virtual world... well... I get part of it... I get the virtual sex for psychopaths part, but how do these people survive in the real world? You know, generate money to trade for goods and services, such as food, shelter, internet access...

This leads to my second inkling into the virtual world which happened Thursday. As many of you know, Microsoft Outlook is a common e-mail application for companies because of its compatibility with other MS products (Yeah, I know Floyd and Bag, gmail is Sooo Much Better, but the Man. makes us use Outlook.) Within Outlook my company has a Public For-Sale Board to post any items you are attempting to peddle, for example, I've bought some speakers, two rugs, and a Tripping Daisy album from co-workers throughout the facility. It is very convenient. Even for those attempting to buy and sell their virtual items:

Posted At: Thursday, October 23, 2008 10:50 AM
Posted To: For Sale
Conversation: Selling World of Warcraft Account
Subject: Selling World of Warcraft Account

I am currently selling my World of Warcraft account. It has 3 70’s, a Warrior/Mage/Paladin. The Paladin is currently MH/BT/SWP geared for both Ret/Holy. I would like to get around 4-500 dollars for the whole account. I have checked on mmobay, my Paladin alone with current gear/rep/status is around 600 dollars. Serious Inquiries only please. Email me if you need any armories for any of the characters.

Are you serious!!!???!!!


This is truely flabberghasting to me. Maybe it's because I am extremely 'Thrifty' (I would say cheap, but it's my blog so I'm not going to call myself cheap), but I think there is something to be said for someone who spends that amount of money on a virtual character. First of all, if you are willing to spend $500 to buy some super-power-Paladin-geared-with-both-Ret/Holy, then you should have an obscene amount of computer time to BUILD UP YOUR OWN F-ING PALADIN! Secondly, if you need to inquire about 'Armories' before making any purchase (excluding buying a real-life castle, of course) then it is time to re-evaluate the security of your investments. For God's sake, THE VIRTUAL YOU DOESN'T DO ANYTHING TO ADVANCE SOCIETY! Finally, (I will say this with as little anger as possible) add up all the expenses associated with your current hobby/virtual-sex-fantasy-life over the last year: 'Gaming' computer - $2000, headset - $100, Mountain Dew - $1259, appreciated carpel-tunnel surgery expenses for the year to be cashed-in at age 50 - $3000, Internet access - $600, YOUR NEW F-ING PALADIN - $500, and the list goes on-and-on...

Personnally, I could care less what peoples' hobbies are, but let's just keep them that - Hobbies. EITHER BUILD UP YOUR OWN CHARACTER OR SPEND YOUR MONEY ON SOMETHING WORTHWHILE! GDamnit!

* I have never played World of Warcraft, but one of my instructors brought this clip in a couple of months ago and I thought it was fitting. As a precursor, you will want to know that Leroy is getting some food and really, really stoned.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


*I bought a new camera a few weeks ago. This was a good way for me to learn some of its features, including .avi movies. We'll all suffer together, OK?

As stated in the video, I know next to nothing about cars. Approximately 9 months ago, the autoshop near my office said the Mass Air Flow Sensor was relatively easy to replace but did not have to be done immediately. That autoshop quoted me ~$485 for the part and ~$100 for labor to replace the M.A.F. Sensor. After researching on the internet, an associate at the auto parts store near my house concurred that replacing the part was a breeze. I bought the sensor, and following the return of my faulty piece this afternoon, the part I bought at Advance Autoparts cost $185.

The entire process took 2:30 and my knees were exhausted from being locked in place as I worked under the hood. The most frustrating part was not having a good light to see what I was doing all the time. The flashlight was OK, but not even close to being the most efficient, however, I did get somewhat lucky because not having a metric socket-set would have been detrimental.

All-in-all, the experience was good. I saved a few hundred dollars, learned a little about cars, and most importantly faced a situation that made me uncomfortable and succeeded. Accomplishment is an unequivical feeling of completion, knowledge, contentment, and pride. In my subjective opinion, every day a person is given opportunities, taking those opportunities and turning them into accomplishments is a way to gauge success in life. I like that.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Here's what a typical Monday looks like for me. -you will likely never see a post from me on a Monday.

4:19 a.m. - Wake up, get dressed, make lunch & dinner (sandwiches, carrots, apples)
4:35 - Depart for work
4:59 - Clock-in

10:30 - Take a walk

1:30 p.m. - Lunch
2:00 - Back to work

3:15 - Walk

4:30 - Clock-out
5:00 - Arrive at night school, finish up homework
6:00 - Class starts

10:00 - Class ends, depart for home
10:30 - Shower, get ready for bed
11:15 - Sleep

4:19 a.m. Tuesday - Wake up

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Norman is Wierd...

Let's do this today, Jayhawks!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Lil' O'Saturday Night

As many of you know, I do not have cable television, no Dish, no DirectTV, nothing but network channels. NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, Fox, Ion (which I caught Risky Business a couple weeks ago). Therefore, pickin's are slim around Gav's household sometimes. But then there is Saturday night...

Now for a controversial statement: I think Saturday Night Live is just as good now as it was in the 90s, the 80s, and yes, even the 70s. When taking a look at the entire season as a whole, week-over-week, there were just as many 'Stinker's' (skits) as there are in the new millenium. You must remember, that comedy is cyclical. Conan O'Brien is not Jay Leno, who is not David Letterman, who is not Johnny Carson.

That being said, on Saturday nights I enjoy watching the first hour of SNL, but at 11:30* I change the channel to one of my favorite television shows: Talkshow with Spike Feresten.

I introduced Spike to my brother-in-law this weekend (after knocking down a bottle of Evan Williams), where Spike came through strong with this clip:

The show is great. Spike is a former writer for David Letterman and also wrote for 'Seinfeld'. If anybody who reads this blog is at home on a Saturday night, try and stick out the first hour of SNL and switch the channel to your local Fox affiliate to catch Talkshow on Saturday nights.

*the show may be on at 12/11c in your area

Tuesday, October 14, 2008 make sure...

I know, it's been a week since my last post. Family was in town, a paper on Sarbanes-Oxley, Hard Rock Concert, Economy Crashed-then Exploded, KU Football Game.

When I was younger, boy scouts was a big part of my life. However, my troop never partook in this program.

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Approximately 4 years ago, I was sitting at my computer after a long night of drinking. It was in the loft of Dn’s house. Matt L. was in Lawrence for the weekend and had retired on the couch in the living room below.

“What are you doing,” he yelled up to me.

“Writing an e-mail,” I said.

“To who?”

“No one.”

“Do you really think that is a good idea at 3:00 in the morning?” he asked.

“Probably not…”

In the future, an instance like this will be less likely for many, many men and women who have lost love. Thank you, Google

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ginger Snap!

Hey! Gingers!!

No more of the long, feathered hairdos.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Not 'A Regular Joe'

My friend Joe has a Blog. It's insightful & funny.

However, it doesn't have the correct formatting for me to list him as one of my "Blog Friends". I can only hope he remains a Human Friend.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Droppin Names Like It's Hot

List of persons Senator McCain uttered during the first Presidential debate:

- Ted Kennedy
- Dwight D. Eisenhower*
- Tom Coburn
- Bill Clinton
- David Petraeus#
- Lindsey Graham*
- Admiral Michael Mullen*

Wow! Are you impressed yet?

- Osama bin Laden
- George Shultz
- President Asif Ali Kardari (whose actual last name is Zardari)
- Alexander the (fucking) Great
- Pervez Musharraf
- Ronald Reagan#
- Matthew Stanley (American soldier K.I.A.)
- Senator Jon Kyl
- Mahmoud Ahmadinenene [mispronunciation], Ahmadineja… [one more time], Ahmadinejad* [bingo]


- Raul Castro
- Hugo Chávez
- Leonid Brezhnev
- Yuri Andropov
- Konstantin Chernenko
- Mikhail Gorbachev
- Richard Nixon
- Henry Kissinger*
- Ambassador Ryan Crocker
- Madeleine Albright

It's still 2008, right?

- My Friends* (referring to everybody who was still listening to him)
- Vladimir Putin*
- The K.G.B.?
- Misha Saakashvili
- Joe Lieberman

*multiple mentions
#painstaking number of mentions

A who’s-who list still does not qualify him to be president of the United States of America.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Live from the Propaganda Platform

The Main Event:
Axis of Evil vs. League of Democracy

*also on the ticket, Main Street vs. Wall Street

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Shit is Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S

I'm going to tell you something that will most likely, not be very pleasing news to your future fruit-pizza recipe.

The black sigatoka fungus will eventually curtail all banana production in the world.

Here's the problem: since 1950, when the Panama fungus exterminated the most popular type at the time, known as the Gros Michel banana, there has been only one variety of banana traded/sold in the world today, known as the Cavendish. In 2003, New Scientist reported that the world-wide Cavendish crop (the genetic roots of which lie in India) was threatened by multiple pandemics, notably the Black Sigatoka fungus. As of right now, there are fungucides used to combat the fungus, but as the bananas evolve the (black sigatoka) pathogens are becoming resistant to these chemicals. Personally, this news upsets me very much. I like bananas, and eat them fairly regularly when in season.

However, there is hope. Initially, efforts were fruitless (pun-intended) since modern bananas do not produce seeds, rather reproduce using cuttings from the banana plant. Fortunately, some Brazilian varieties are being genetically engineered with fungus resistant genes. According to Truth about Trade the tests appear promising.

I hope so. Honestly, what would life be like without bananas? No banana-splits. No banana... chunks in Jello? No banana... chunks in cereal?


It appears that the world could go on without bananas. As long as banana nut bread and Creme de Banana Liqueur still existed. I think we would get along.